Monday, May 21, 2012

This auction thing...

Since my roommate is doing this, (It's HERE.) I should help out. So, I'm offering a pair of fingerless gloves to whomever donates $20, mostly because I have the time now. You can see an example here. I can do shorter, longer, different yarns... Or, I can do those dressy scarves or (I'm shuddering to add this) stocking caps, with or without a frilly edge. (In fact, an awesome author named Dina James came up with a wonderful idea, and we each made four of them that were shipped to the crew of the Time Bandit (a boat from The Deadliest Catch) in Alaska. The hats will possibly make an appearance next season.)

(Yes, I totally pimped a wonderful author while whoring myself out. I'm good at multi-tasking.)

So, the dressy scarves I can attempt:
Here, here, here, or here.

For the gloves:
If you want a more open weave than what I did before: these.
Another design I can do: here.

And really, the hats are a your basic stocking cap design, but I can do a wavy edge on them for people who want.

Types of yarn I have on hand:

The Christmas batch. Really, that's what the yarn is called. This is Red Heart, 100% acrylic.
The blue set. All Red Heart acrylic. I have no idea what the pale blue is. The rest, L to R: Royal, Dark Navy, Windsor Blue, and Soft Navy. (The Windsor and Soft Navy may have to be combined be with another color.)
The reds. L to R: Scarlet, Hot Red, True red. (Again, Scarlet and Hot Red may have to be combined with other colors.)
My lighting is shitty, that blue on the side is actually an Amethyst Purple. Followed by Tropical Fruit (a variegated pastel), and Paddy Green.
Black Fleck. (I also have plain black.)
All are Caron Simply Soft. L to R: Orchid, English Rose, Country Blue, and Blue Mint.
Lion Brand 'Homespun'. There's Green/Blue, and Red/Pink/Grey.
Silks. Better for smaller projects, as in scarves, because what you see is what I have.
And the last three I have. The first is 100% Pima Cotton in a maroon, A Pima Cotton/Silk mix in a burgundy, and A wool/acrylic mix in a blue/green twist.

So, there you have it.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

A post with substance.

So I lied in my last post, there will actually be one with substance. Mostly.

I spent the last three weeks back home in Omaha/Southwest Iowa, visiting family and generally being a pain in everyone's collective asses.

Besides doing a LOT of crocheting, mostly hats and some fingerless gloves:

fingerless gloves

Like those above. I also visited my family a bit. And then tonight, after a 12 hour drive home, dealing with my mom, aunt and grandmaHazel in a small car and managing not to kill anyone, my Twitter feed exploded due to a hash tag.


You can get the story behind this hashtag here, with many links to more stories.

I want to do this. Not for me, but for my GrandmaJo. She is my paternal grandmother, and she is an amazing woman. Since 2000, she has battled colon cancer, breast cancer, and now is dealing with congestive heart disease. She's not going to beat this last one, and she knows it. She's had several scares and hospital visits over the past year, but it doesn't stop her from doing whatever she damn well pleases. During this last visit, I found out some info on her brother, that he had kids no one knew about, and instead of letting me track his kids/grandchildren down on Facebook or something, she just called information and got the one son's phone number and then called him.

At 8:45 on a Sunday night. Dude lives in Georgia.

So, yes, she has brass balls and is still kicking even though her heart is working against her.

So, I want to get a dress, so that when I go back home at the end of March, I can take HER picture. I want everyone to see how fierce and awesome she is.

I want to get a picture of my GrandmaHazel in that red dress as well, but that might be more difficult. She's outlived 3 husbands and 2 boyfriends, has five kids, 18 grandkids, 10+greatgrandkids, and still speaks her mind, even though she's happier sitting back and just letting things roll by.

That is my plan. To get a dress for them to wear in at the end of March, even if I have to sell a body part to buy it myself.



It's been a while...

but then, I only have one subscriber and I have to probably get more.

Quit the job so I could finish up school. It's only taken me five years of starts and stops to get a damn Associate's Degree.  Here's hoping I can finish a Bachelors in less than that.

So, yes, back to school. And I'm trying to make a commitment to posting at least once a week, even if it's just to ramble about school or some stupid shit on the news or like, actual substance.  That will probably never happen, the substance part.

Also, I'll probably post a lot of stupid pictures.


Like, that one. Have a bottle cap art car.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Chocolate No Bake Cookies

This is for THOSE PEOPLE who keep asking for cookies. Now they can make their own.

First of, get the ingredients together:

1 stick of REAL butter (not margarine, not that fake butter crap, REAL BUTTER. note at end)
2 cups white sugar
3 tablespoons cocoa (if you like dark chocolate, I totes recommend using dark chocolate cocoa)
1/2 cup milk (we use local milk! FTW!)

1 teaspoon real vanilla
1/2 cup peanut butter (natural peanut butter is awesome)
3 cups quick oats (The ones that say 1 minute on the box)

Kitchen timer

Wax paper or foil

Prep your setting/cooling area by laying out sheets of the wax paper or foil.

Now, put the first four ingredients in a pan. Make sure the peanut butter and vanilla is nearby and already measure out.  Oats go in a large mixing bowl, also nearby.

Put the pan on the stove on LOW to MEDIUM LOW heat.  (note at bottom)  Cook, stirring constantly to keep the sugar from burning, until the mix reaches a rolling boil.  THIS IS IMPORTANT. As soon as the rolling boil starts, put that timer on one minute.  When the timer goes off, IMMEDIATELY remove the pan from the heat and add the peanut butter. Stir until completely melted. Don't shut off the heat, because you may need to put the pan back on to melt the peanut butter all the way.  Add the vanilla (it will bubble up, this is a good thing), then pour the mix into the bowl with the oats.

Quickly mix the oats and chocolate mix completely together, then drop by spoonfuls onto the prepped area.  Move quickly, as this stuff can set rather quickly. (I cheat and use an ice cream scoop.)

Let the cookies set about 20-30 minutes, and enjoy!

Notes: Using real butter. Repeated attempts at using the fake butter (I can't believe it's not butter, etc) and margarine have resulted in cookies that don't set or are super gooey.

Temp note: Ever notice how the cookies from recipes that say med to medium high heat (or the store bought ones) can be kinda gritty? It's because the sugar didn't completely dissolve. By slowly heating the mix on low, you give the sugar a chance to melt, resulting in a smoother tasting cookie!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Gardening Fun

Stepping away from the Tales of Retail for a moment to bring you Tales from the Garden.

No, really.

See, 'round here, we ain't all that OCD 'bout our garden.  ...yeah, that sounded a lot less hick in my head. But, it's true. We're lazy gardeners. We don't mean to be, but we are. So, the garden may go a week without us watering it.  And our watermelon and cucumbers got off to a rough start, but we yanked back some weeds and a ton of grass and now they're happy. And we lost all but one potato plant to the slugs (NOT my fault. I fought them hard, dammit.)  And one of our zucchinis rotted out, but I think it just hated itself.

Our corn those, is a mutant plant that is going to eventually stop growing and take over the world. I think. I hope.

We won't mention the lettuce plants, may they rest... in the yard where they will soon end up in the mower bag.

We have other things of course.  In pots on the porch we have cilantro, basil, rosemary, sage, and mint. Then we have our baby bell peppers, pearl drop tomatoes, and regular round tomatoes.  In the front gardens, we have more bells, roma tomatos, rubarb and soon to be tomatillos. The back garden has jalapenos, the solitary survivor of the potato/slug war, two types of corn, cucumber, zucchini and watermelon.

Now, that's not all we planted, that's just what has survived.

Now, the zucchini... yeah, I've been pulling out one every couple of days that's as long as my forearm, from the tips of my fingers to my elbow.  Today I pulled out another one. And cheered that we have two more cucumbers growing (we've only had two so far), with a dozen flowers now. My two tiny jalapeno plants have four peppers on them, with a dozen or so flowers. The watermelon vine is crawling all over the place, the vines nice and fuzzy. I think we're gonna have some good sized melons off of it. And the corn.... I did mention it was mutant, right? Damn near 8 feet tall, several cobs on each stalk. I think that's pretty damn good for a first attempt.

Of course, this is nothing like my mother. The wench planted a whole pack of seeds and ended up with fifty tomato plants. FIFTY.  I have seven.  We won't even mention her cucumbers.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Fireworks go boom!

What I'm about to blog about happened back on the 4th, but it's taken me a few days to post about it because I needed to deal with the WTFery of it.

It was pretty dead for most of the day, but it got busy in the evening. Mostly people wanting new stuff before going out and such. A few minutes before closing (And I do mean a few. They had just put out the five minute warning.) I was taking some swimsuits back to hang and passed by this lady. She walked out into the main walk aisle from between a table and rack and then DROPPED HER PANTS. 

Seriously, she took off the shorts she had on, showing off a not so clean pair of underwear and then put another pair of shorts on. I stood there in shock, and it took me a second to realize that it was in fact the second time she had done it, because the pair she had just taken off still had tags on them. So, instead of walking twenty or so feet to the fitting rooms, she tried on the clothes right there in the middle of the juniors department.

Right as they called the 'we're closed now' announcement, she was back at the table full of shorts, and asked for my help in finding a certain size. Her exact words? "I'm going to a party tonight and I don't want to look like a bum."

...yeah, you don't want to look like a bum at the party, but it's perfectly okay to walk into a store with your tits falling out of your very low cut, very baggy top, drop trou in the middle of a department where there are young children, showing off your nasty panties and try on clothes.

I barely kept my mouth shut, but did so. She asked if she could try on the shorts between the racks again, but I told her that wasn't allowed, and headed off to put more clothes away.  I later found out, after she WALKED OUT with two pairs of shorts, that she did this changing act twice more while at the registers.

Holidays bring out loonies.